In the tapestry of my immigrant narrative, filled with sacrifice and the pursuit of happiness, there emerged a moment of self-reflection: How did I come to bear the weight of the world upon my own shoulders? Why did the burden of success, financial prosperity, and the pride of my parents seem to rest solely upon me?

As an immigrant, particularly in a family composed exclusively of girls, I was cognizant of the stigmas and stereotypes that envelop us. The world often casts its gaze upon me through the prism of predetermined expectations, viewing me as a submissive and fragile being, confining my existence to roles prescribed by society.

In the face of such circumstances, I rise above to defy those limitations and forge my own paths of empowerment. It is not enough to yearn for the American Dream to come true. I have to actively pursue it.

With puffy eyes, I walked to school every morning with one thing in mind: "Work harder than the person next to you." This motto thrusted me into a world of a circus.

Over time I became a professional trapeze artist clutching the bar of academic success, swinging and spinning, trying desperately not to fall into the pit of academic failure below me. I spent long and arduous nights bent on my table, with pens and paper splayed on my desk.

I was also a professional juggler, juggling school, extracurriculars, and mental health, deathly afraid that if I failed to balance them, everything would come crashing down. Every week I shuffled from class to class, sometimes staying after school for student government events. On weekends I focused on internships in engineering and aerodynamics. I still carved out time for self-care, hosting small get-togethers and partaking in my favorite recreational activity: walks in nature.

Lastly, I became a professional clown, managing my emotions and plastering on a smile every time my mother asked if I was okay. There was no space to slip up and give in to emotions. I needed results.

This circus I call my life is an ongoing iteration of failing and succeeding. I am glad my life did not turn out to be the perfect paradise the spoiled little girl had hoped for. Her pristine white picket fence house could never compare to the chaotic beauty of my circus.

Saira Masud was a recipient of a 2023 The Joseph ’50 and Frances R. Weiss Family Trust Scholarship, presented by the Alumni Foundation. She is now a student at the University at Buffalo.